I understood

yesterday i finally understood. i understood. after one month trying, trying to make him see me, trying to be there all the time...but he just...doesn't care. All my friends told me, stop it, he doesn't want you, don't go after him please stop it...but i just can't..couldn't. when he's around he's the only thing that matters to me. after nothing happened, after seeing he doesn't care i started to listen to them. i won't talk to him, i won't look at him. and i did yesterday for the first time. the two of us in the same room and i wasn't talking with him. and he noticed. he noticed, and he tried to call my attention i just acted like i didn't care. and then he goes to bed without saying anything, without saying goodbye...although he promised me he would stay. after he left i was just mad. and i spoke to his friend. our friend. and after that conversation i understood. i understood. nothing is going to happen. EVER. in two months i'll be gone and all this will be just memories. and i cried. i cried all over the way home, 15 minutes crying in the street, then i went to bed and cried 'till i fall sleep...after a very dizzy day, i'm crying now again...

just because i realized, i comprehended, i understood...